Fear of Death....

Fear of Death.................?

It has been almost a fortnight since a question is haunting me continuously. It keeps me awake at night. It does not allow me to rest. It sucks me in to keep on thinking about it. Some days back, my best friend called me up at night. He was unhappy. He wanted to talk with me. He was feeling very lonely. He was very frustrated. He was disturbed by his failure at every stage of life. He was struggling with the hard realities of life. So I was trying to cheer him up. Like don’t worry brother everything will be alright very soon. I was giving sympathy to him. And during my effort trying to make him happy, I said to him- Live your life as it is the last day of your life. Suddenly a question got struck in my mind which I couldn't ask him but me. Question was what if it is really the last day of my life? What if I come to know that someday would be the doomsday of my life? What if I come to know that this life which I am living would be over very soon? What if I come to know that I have a very short time, a very limited time to do whatever I want to do? What would happen at that time? What would I be doing at that time? It’s like when a doctor says to you that you have very short time left. Or in doctor’s code, he is actually saying to you- Prepare to die. How would I be preparing myself to die? Sometimes it scares me. It doesn’t let me concentrate on other pieces of work. It haunts like a ghost to me. It is persistent, unrelenting, continuously recurring in my mind. It is maybe because I don’t want to die. No one wants to die. Of course, you don’t want to die even you are not happy with your life. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. But some questions regarding the actions of that very day keeps me haunting. I asked myself, would I be given a chance to rape before I die considering my last wish? Would I be given a chance to kill a man who had once screwed up my life? Would I be given a chance to do all such things which are considered ‘immoral’ in our society? Would I be given a chance to spend my entire father’s money on my last wishes? Would I or would I not? I really don’t know. It is purely an intellectual concept. And I am speechless. But I think that probability of getting these opportunities on the way to death is high than demanding these living your life. Does that mean death can give you what you couldn’t get in your life? Or even a fear of death? Does that mean fear of death is more beautiful than life? Maybe yes. Fear of death helps you in eliminating the most of the choices in your life leaving you in front of only the most important things of your life. Fear of death gives you courage and intuition to listen to the voice of your heart and you really start listening to it. Because it already somehow know what you truly want to become, what you want to do, and what you have to do before you die. Earlier I used to have grudges for some people in my life. But today I don’t have any. I think life is too short for such bullshit things. Life is too short to enjoy, to learn, and to live. Live it to its fullest. It is very precious. Don’t spend it living someone else’s life. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions ground out into our own inner voice. Don’t be trapped by dogma which is living with the resolves of the other people’s thinking. It was the fear of death which could make me realise all such things. Death is a destination which we all share. Whether rich or poor people, good or bad people, black or white people, a king or a servant, death is common to all. No one has ever escaped it. It clears out the old to replace with the new. Earlier I thought it was very scary. But now I realise that it is not that much scary. Actually death comes to you in the face of reality. And realities are sometimes hard to face....