Thursday, March 24, 2011

I am not an 'ATHEIST'......

It was a very boring day yesterday. I was very sad. There was nothing new for so many days. I am sick of such prosaic and mundane activities of daily life. I always want something new. I wanted to do something but couldn’t find out what to do. So I finally decided to read out all my recent articles posted on my blog. So I started with the very first and ended up reading the last one in half an hour. After reading all my recent articles, two words slipped out from my mouth which I didn’t intend to say- Thanks God. I asked myself why did I say that? Did I really intend to say this? No. It was such a moment of pleasure, a moment of sheer happiness inside me, a moment of self-realization, a moment when you really want to share your happiness with someone very close. It was a moment when you want to give yourself completely to God. It was a moment when you realize that you are in the process of proving yourself to you only. It was a moment when you really want to thank God from the core of your heart. It was such a beautiful moment that I can’t even explain in words. I could feel the energy restoring inside my body. I could see a big smile on my face. I could talk to God without even speaking a single word from my mouth.
But why did it happen? Does God have something to do with this? As I have always been quite skeptical about this very entity called God. Sometimes I feel that I am an agnostic personality. I always find myself looking answers for a question what is God? How can we worship God? How can we talk to God? Is it necessary to go to temples to worship God? Or is it really necessary to worship God? I never find myself comfortable in temples. Temples seems to me like nothing less than a political institution where every person is busy doing politics about other, always concerned about other person’s life, busy in planning how to pull someone’s leg, discussing their family problems in temples. It is an institution where corruption is legal. Nobody is concerned about where they have come and for what purpose. Nobody is concerned about God. Moreover, many a times I get an opportunity in temples to ogle the opposite sex. There comes the question of morality. Is it immoral or not? So for many reasons, I don’t feel like going to temples. Does it mean that I am an immoral person? Does it mean that I don’t believe in God? Does it mean that I am an 'atheist'? Does it mean that I will always do the wrong thing? Does it mean that I am not allowed to be a nice person? Does it mean that my belief in God would invalidate any good intentions which I have towards my fellow human beings? Well, if ask from the society, the answer would be ‘Yes’. But why is it so? Can it be such logical that on the basis of some false myths, a person is declared an ‘Atheist’? It is just bullshit, a height of nonsense.
I think God is always around you. God is always inside you. You don’t have to search for God because God is always within you. You don’t need to go anywhere in search of God. You just need to feel God inside you. It’s all about perception.
Today we are living in such a suffocating world where we are not having even a religious freedom. Where we have to accept God in the way what so called religious people have made for us. We are living in a society where our religious people have made an assumption that moral and ethical choices are religious ventures only. A person who fears from God is moral and who does not, is immoral and non-ethical person. Is God really such an entity from whom we should fear? I never feared from God. I am not afraid of God. But our society would never be able to let this fear evaporate from their minds. Well, that is their problem.
But why the hell society is concerned about any other individual and keeps on forcing him to accept their said rules? Why he is being seen as a culprit in the eyes of the world? Why they are not able to understand that if he is not useful to you for his own beliefs even he is not harmful to you for that? I really don’t know when our societies would be able to liberate their minds. Some says that God helps those who help themselves. I am helping myself in my own way. I am doing what my heart tells me to do. I am trying to be loyal to myself. How can you be loyal to God if you are not loyal to yourself? Be loyal to yourself first and only then try to be loyal to God. I have no intention of expecting the entire world to have the same beliefs I do. If they do, it is not my problem. If not, I am perfectly fine with it. Sometimes I feel that which is considered ‘immoral’ in our society is ‘moral’ for me. And in most of the cases I find it relevant too. How can it be this much logical? Sometimes I think I am an alien to the world and they are aliens to me. We are just living under the same sky but completely aliens towards each other in the world of thoughts. But the fact is this-Not all ''religious people are saints and not all ''atheists'' are sinners. The ability for someone to be good or evil, moral or immoral is not determined by their religious preferences rather it is determined by their personal philosophies which may come from sources other than religion. I have just tried to convey my message to this hypocritical world that I am not an ‘Atheist’.
I am not an ‘Atheist’; just my way of paying devotion to the God is different.


Umesh Bawa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
anamika said...

Mr. Pankaj
You have exposed the reality of the society through this post. Cultural and religious spirits of the society seems like double edged sword sometimes. well this is nice post!

Pankaj Aggarwal said...

Thanks Umesh and Anamika..
I am just concerned about that we should not be forced to accept such fake beliefs on which our whole religious system is standing. To ask what is your religion? Who is your God? These are very personal questions and should remain personal. If our society is really concerned about ours then they should treat it as a debatable topic so that we can share our matters and sort it out. And we also need to understand the difference between Atheist and Anti-theist.