Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Pre-marital Sex Vs Indian Culture


Pre-marital sex is a big NO-NO in our culture for various reasons. It is not only considered as a taboo in our society rather considered as a sin. Not only is the act of sex, but also discussions and conversations about sex are taboo in our society. Our society is unable to understand that sex is a very strong biological need. However sex after marriage has a purpose of not only evolution but also a medium of expressing love between couples. If sex becomes a mere need of the body then it becomes monotonous and cannot be enjoyed in true sense. This is also the reason why many marriages are failing nowadays. Because the concept of sex is not very clear. We always think of sex in negative sense. While prohibiting sex until one is married has its own merits, one must also consider the fact that in recent times the age in which the men and women are tying the nuptial knots has been slowly on the rise. Early 30s is a common age until which men and women remain un-married due to prevalent socio-economic situation. And these days most of the children become sexually active before 19 years of age. So there is a huge gap. Sex is something important to our body and by refraining it till marriage is a blunder. This is the reason many people treat marriages nothing more than a license to enjoy sex. It is like if you are hungry, you eat garbage or you wait for the right food. When it is misunderstood, one tends to resort to junk food as well.

The bottom line is when two young people are together and hormones are bubbling, it is very difficult to stay in control. Sex is something basic like food. Binding it by tradition makes you yearn for it and spend half your time thinking about it and the focus on other things just remains blur. I feel it is high time to move out of cultural boundaries we have set for ourselves. I think cultural boundaries are apparent in the form of our mental conditioning and have become part of our belief system. I believe culture and tradition are ever changing. We can learn a great deal from what has been practiced in the past and retain those that have worked well for us but there is also a need to weed out the ones that are not relevant anymore. It is also the duty of the parents to talk freely on the subject with their kids and enlighten them. Sex should be freely discussed also in schools, colleges etc. I think the education curriculum in schools and colleges can also play a important role in providing awareness and discussion of associated issues. Studies have shown that when sex is openly discussed, the incidence of teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases goes down provided it is seriously discussed without emotional melodrama. So the least we can do for our youth is that if a girl and a boy wants to enjoy sex, cultural boundaries, physical control should not be a restriction for them. Someone has rightly said- Go with the flow of universe.

Some questions.......................?

  1. Can we learn to understand our opposite sex at a deeper level without sex?
  2. Doesn't sex kickoff our spiritual thinking?
  3. Don't know about others but many a times i get an opportunity in temples to ogle the opposite sex? Is it some sort of deficiency? Is it immoral?
  4. Why do we have to live two lives? One for the society (The Parents etc.) to show them that we are virtuous people. On the other hand, in the real life we are driven by the need and desire of sex.
  5. Do emotional attachment dissipates after sex or it becomes even more stronger?

2 comments:

Quester said...

Having sex quite often before marriage,sleeping with just any one you find attractive,ultimately leaves your body with a feeling of worthlessness.And just in case you are looking for true love..it makes you a little less deserving for that.We always meet the kind of people we really wanna meet.Whether being someone with a casual attitude towards sex or be it someone who wants a beautiful relationship for a life time. "We" make are choices, everyday.. every moment...:):)

Madhav said...

Sexual self-restraint is the right soil for strong love and marriage. Pre-maritial celibacy is good; however, if you love/like someone, and are 1000% sure you are going to marry them, be their life partner, then a sexual relationship is ok..I think. I am not at all comfortable with a sexual relationship with someone, whom you are not going to marry. But its everybodys personal choice eventually. Having said that...I think sexual self restraint as advised in Indian culture is good...as long as no hypocrisy and double standards are practiced.