Thursday, April 28, 2011

OSHO - Awareness in Sleep in Awareness



The moment when you are dropping into sleep is the moment to encounter the unconsciousness. If you can remain out of sleep, then the unconscious will be real, because that is the line. The very line from where you drop into sleep is the line where you can encounter the unconscious.

You have been sleeping everyday, but you have not encountered sleep yet. You have not seen it: what it is, how it comes, how to drop into it. You have not known anything about it. You have been dropping daily, coming out of it, but you have not felt the moment when sleep comes to the mind and what happens.

So try this, and with three months effort, suddenly one day you will enter sleep knowingly: drop on your bed, close your eyes, and then remember, remember that sleep is coming and "I am to remain awake when the sleep comes".

It is very arduous, but it helps. One day it will not happen, another day it will not happen. Persist every day, constantly remembering that sleep is coming, and "I am not to allow it without nowing. I must be aware when sleep enters. I must go on feeling how sleep takes over, what it is."

One day sleep is there, and you are still awake. That very moment you become aware of your unconsciousness. And once you become aware of your unconsciousness you will never be asleep again during the day. Sleep will be there, but you will be awake simultaneously. A center in you will go on knowing; all around will be sleep, and the center will go on knowing. When this center is knowing, dreams become impossible. Then you are asleep in a different sense, and you will be awake in the morning in a different sense. A different quality comes by the encounter.


OSHO

Sunday, April 24, 2011

OSHO on Ecstacy.....

I just love this pic as well as the article. Read another amazing article by none other than the great spiritual master OSHO....


ECSTASY IS A LANGUAGE that man has completely forgotten. He has been forced to forget it; he has been compelled to forget it. The society is against it, the civilization is against it. The society has a tremendous investment in misery. It depends on misery, it feeds on misery, it survives on misery. The society is not for human beings. The society is using human beings as a means for itself. The society has become more important than humanity. The culture, the civilization, the church, they all have become more important. They were meant to be for man, but now they are not for man. They have almost reversed the whole process; now man exists for them.
Every child is born ecstatic. Ecstasy is natural. It is not something that happens only to great sages. It is something that everybody brings with him into the world; everybody comes with it. It is life's innermost core. It is part of being alive. Life is ecstasy. Every child brings it into the world, but then the society jumps on the child, starts destroying the possibility of ecstasy, starts making the child miserable, starts conditioning the child.
The society is neurotic, and it cannot allow ecstatic people to be here. They are dangerous for it. Try to understand the mechanism; then things will be easier.

You cannot control an ecstatic man; it is impossible. You can only control a miserable man. An ecstatic man is bound to be free. Ecstasy is freedom. He cannot be reduced to being a slave. You cannot destroy him so easily; you cannot persuade him to live in a prison. He would like to dance under the stars and he would like to walk with the wind and he would like to talk with the sun and the moon. He will need the vast, the infinite, the huge, the enormous. He cannot be seduced into living in a dark cell. You cannot make a slave out of him. He will live his own life and he will do his thing. This is very difficult for the society. If there are many ecstatic people, the society will feel it is falling apart, its structure will not hold anymore.

Those ecstatic people will be the rebels. Remember, I don't call an ecstatic person "revolutionary"; I call him a "rebel." A revolutionary is one who wants to change the society, but he wants to replace it with another society. A rebel is one who wants to live as an individual and would like there to exist no rigid social structure in the world. A rebel is one who does not want to replace this society with another society -- because all the societies have proved the same The capitalist and the communist and the fascist and the socialist, they are all cousin-brothers; it doesn't make much difference. The society is society. All the churches have proved the same -- the Hindu, the Christian, the Mohammedan.

Once a structure becomes powerful, it does not want anybody to be ecstatic, because ecstasy is against structure. Listen to it and meditate over it: ecstasy is against structure Ecstasy is rebellious. It is not revolutionary.

A revolutionary is a political man; a rebel is a religious man. A revolutionary wants another structure, of his own desire, of his own utopia, but a structure all the same. He wants to be in power. He wants to be the oppressor and not the oppressed; he wants to be the exploiter and not the exploited,he wants to rule and not be ruled. A rebel is one who neither wants to be ruled nor wants to rule. A rebel is one who wants no rule in the world. A rebel is anarchic. A rebel is one who trusts nature, not man-made structures, who trusts that if nature is left alone, everything will be beautiful. It is! 

Saturday, April 23, 2011

OSHO on GOD-II...



I love human beings but not humanity. Humanity does not exist, only concrete human beings exists, someone here someone there but it is always someone.


Humanity is a empty word and just like that is Christ. Jesus exists sometimes in Gautam the buddha, sometimes in Mohammed the prophet, sometimes in Krishna the flute player, somewhere here, somehwere there ... but it is always a concrete phenomenon.

Christ is abstract, it only exists in the books of philosophy and theology. Christ has never walked on earth or we can say it in another way Christ is the son of God, Jesus the son of man. Let me talk about Jesus the son of man, because only the son of man is real and only the son of man can grow and become the son of God. Only man can grow and become God. Because man is the seed, the source. God is the flowering.

God does not exists anywhere. When you flower God comes in existance. It comes into existence and disappears, comes into existence and disappears. When Buddha was here God existed. When Jesus was here God existed. When Jesus disappears God disappears, just when a flower disappears it disappears.

God is not somewhere.. always existing. Whenever a man realizes his essence, whenever a man really exists, whenever a man exists in totality, God exists in those rare moments.

So when you come and ask me "Where is God?", I can not show you. Unless you prove him into your own being, he will not be there. Untill you become him he is not. Everybody has to realize him in his own inner most shrine, in his own being. You carry him as a seed. It is up to you to allow it to grow and become a great tree."


OSHO

A beautiful saying by Abu Yazeed Bastami-

I made four mistakes in my preliminary steps in this way:

I thought that I remember Him,
that I know Him,
that I love Him,
and that I seek Him;

but when I reached Him,

I saw that His remembering of me preceded my remembrance of Him,

that His knowledge about me preceded my knowledge of Him,

that His love towards me was more ancient than my love towards Him,

and that He sought me in order that I would begin to seek Him.”

OSHO: Strange Consequences

Friday, April 22, 2011

OSHO on GOD.....


Question – Beloved Osho, Is it really true that God is also searching for me? Can I wait for him to find me?
OSHO - It is absolutely true that just as you are seeking God or truth or the beloved, he is also seeking you. The search is never one-sided. And any search that is one-sided is never going to be fulfilled. But your question is, “Can I wait for him to find me?” — then he will also wait to search for you.

Search has to be from both sides; otherwise both sides will be waiting. Existence has a balance about everything. Your waiting is not enough; your longing, your search is categorically needed.
One of the Sufis’ sayings is: if you take one step towards God, he takes one thousand steps towards you. But at least one step on your side is absolutely necessary. And your one step is far more important than the one thousand steps of God, because by “God” is not meant any person; by God is meant the intelligence of this whole universe, the consciousness of the whole universe.

You have a very small proportion of consciousness. Your one step is far bigger than the one thousand steps of God, because existence has infinite intelligence. So waiting alone won’t do. Just waiting is a state which is not alive; there has to be tremendous longing, a thirst from every pore of your being. Unless God becomes a question of your life and death, the meeting is not possible.

Almost everybody will be prepared to wait — that means on your laundry list, God is the last item, when you have done everything of the world. And that is not possible, even in eternity; something or other will be left undone. God has to be your first priority. It has to become a kind of haunting in your heart. Breathing in, breathing out, there has to be a rememberance: whatever you are doing is nonessential, and the essential part is to go deep down in meditation.

Never think of God as someone outside you. That is a wrong beginning — because where will you search for him? The outside is so vast; you don’t have the address or the phone number. In the infinity of existence, in which direction will you search for him? How will you find that you are on the right path? Millions of paths… how are you going to choose? What will be the criterion?

Because of this misconception that God is outside, religions became organized around priesthood, around a holy book, around certain dogmas — because that at least gives you some feel for where you have to search: you have to go to the church, you have to do a certain prayer, you have to go to the synagogue, you have to find your path in the holy scriptures. The idea of God outside has led the whole of humanity into tremendous confusion.

He is within you. Better will be if I say: He is your within, your very interiority, your very center of being. You are on the periphery of your individuality. Move inwards.

First you will meet the thoughts. Don’t get involved in them, just ignore…. Buddha has used the word upeksha, ignoring, as a certain guaranteed method; otherwise you are going to get caught in the net of thoughts. Don’t fight, just go on your way as if mind is empty. And if you can ignore the mind it becomes empty.

The more attention you pay to the mind, the more nourishment you give to the thoughts. If you can pass the boundary of the mind without disturbing — and it is not an arduous thing, just a little knack of ignoring — then you will come into the world of feelings, emotions, moods, which are more subtle than the thoughts. You have entered from the mind and its territory into a deeper area of your being, the heart.

Continue the same method, ignore your sentiments, emotions, moods, as if they don’t belong to you. As you pass the boundary of the heart you enter the boundary of your own being. That is the temple of God. And the moment you enter the temple, certainly he takes those one thousand steps towards you.

Those one thousand steps are symbolic. He comes towards you as light, as the very essence of beauty, as blissfulness, as silence, as peace. And he comes with so much force, almost like a flood, that you are drowned in it.

You will find God, but you will have to lose yourself; that is the price. It is not much. How much do you think your cost-price is? In fact, any animal in the world is more costly than man. When man dies, nobody is ready to purchase him. When an elephant dies, then thousands of rupees…. When any animal dies, even the dead animal has some utility. It is only man who dies, and all that you can do is either burn him or bury him — just to get rid of him. Rather than bringing some money to you after death he withdraws ome money from your pocket.

So there is no need to be afraid if you are lost, drowned, because in the temple of God only one can exist — either you or he. Duality is not possible there, because duality is conflict. And the experience of God is that of immense harmony. That harmony can be achieved only if you allow yourself to be drowned in the flood that comes from all sides — of joy, of bliss, of ecstasy. The feel of dying in the flood of God is the most exquisite and the most sweet experience — the last, the highest, the greatest; there is nothing beyond it.

But it is not going to happen by just waiting. You will have to go inside your own being. He is present there always; he is your life, he is your all. You are just a small ray of light from that immense source. So when you get drowned in him, it is just that the ray has returned back to the sun. One has come home. If God is understood the way I am telling you…. And I am not a thinker; it is not my hypothesis, it is my experience. I have passed through that death and I have found that it appears to be death from one side, but from the other side it is resurrection. You disappear as a small creature and become a vast creativity. You don’t lose anything and you gain everything.

But the organized religions don’t want you to be aware of this fact, because their whole business depends on an outside God. Then the priest is needed, the temple is needed, the mosque is needed, the church is needed; then the HOLY BIBLE is needed, then some interpreters are needed, and then all the millions of priests around the world become your mediators with a fictitious God somewhere in the sky.

The Vatican pope has declared it a sin to confess directly to God; you have to confess to the priest. And of course it has to be a catholic priest — only he is authorized to have a direct communication with God. You cannot pray directly, you cannot ask forgiveness directly.

Do you see the cunningness, the meanness, the whole strategy of exploitation? The priest becomes more important than God himself. On the one hand these people go on calling you children of God, and on the other, children cannot directly communicate with their father; a priest is needed as a mediator. The reality is, there is no God outside; it is the invention of the priest. And he has invented a great business. For centuries he has been exploiting men, whether they are Hindus or Mohammedans or Christians or Jews — it does not matter.

There is only one thing every religion insists: that a direct relationship with God is not possible. They don’t give any reasons why. I have seen trees praying directly to God; the rivers and the mountains and the stars don’t have any priests, the flowers and the birds don’t have any priests. Do you think this whole existence except man is not related to God? It is more related to God than man. It is only man who has gone astray.

Have you ever heard in any religion, in any country, a story that God expelled a few trees out of the garden of Eden? Or a few animals, or a few birds? It is only man who is expelled. The story is significant. It simply means that the whole of existence is rooted in God. Only because man has a thinking mind, he has wandered far away. Mind is capable of wandering anywhere — you can be sitting here and your mind may be wandering somewhere in America or somewhere in Germany, or somewhere in Japan, or maybe on the moon…. There are all kinds of lunatics.

It is very rarely that you are here, very rare to be in the place where you are. Your mind is always wandering somewhere else. It is never here, it is never now. This wandering mind has taken you away from your own inner being. And this has become a great opportunity for exploitation. All over the world, like mushrooms, priests and religions and holy books have appeared.

There are three hundred religions in the world. They differ on every point except one point, and that is, the priest is an absolute necessity. Any intelligent person can see that these religions are not for you, these religions are for the priesthood. They are parasites — catholic parasites, protestant parasites, Hindu parasites, they come in all sizes and all shapes!

My effort here is to make you free from the chains of the priesthood. The moment you are free from the chains of the priesthood, you are no longer Christian, no longer Hindu, no longer Jew. You are simply and purely human beings. You have already come very close to your home; the priest was distracting you.

An ancient story says that the old devil is sitting under a tree, having his morning tea, and a young disciple comes running, very much disturbed. He says, “What are you doing? You are sitting here, drinking tea, and our whole business is in difficulty. One man on the earth has found the truth!”

The old guy laughed. He said, “You are too young, you don’t know all the secrets. Don’t be worried, my people have reached there.” The young disciple could not believe his eyes, could not believe his ears. He said, “I am coming from there, I have not seen anyone of our people.”

The old devil said, “There is no need to send our people. I have created the priests. And they are surrounding the man. Now they have become a wall between the man and the people. Whatever the man says, the priest will interprete it and distort it.

“Truth has been found many times,” said the old devil, “but while priests exist, truth will be found and lost again, because the priests immediately start interpreting, making organized religions around the truth — churches, temples, mosques — and the truth is lost in their interpretations, in their commentaries. “What commentaries can they make? They don’t know the truth. Truth needs no commentary, it is pure experience. Either you know it or you don’t know it. there is no third position. That’s why I’m so much at ease. Just sit down and have a cup of tea.”

The story is significant. Beware of the priests, beware of organized religions, beware of others telling you what is truth. Nobody can tell it to you. You will have to find it yourself.
And it is so close to you that you have not to go on a faraway journey. You have to go in silence, in profound peace, beyond words and beyond feelings, and suddenly you find the temple of consciousness. And as you enter into it you disappear. Only God is. That is your authentic reality. God is your very soul.

OSHO

OSHO on Death....


Remember, until you die you cannot be reborn. As you are, you have to pass through death. And you are clinging too much to life. That won't help – death will come. But death comes in two ways. One way, the usual way it comes: you are clinging to life and it comes as the enemy; you fight with it, you resist it, you do everything that you can do to avoid it. But how can you avoid it? The day you were born death became certain; every birth carries the seed of death. In fact, in life nothing else is certain but death. Everything is at the most probable, but death is certain. It will happen. You can avoid it, you can postpone it a little, but that doesn't change the situation. It will happen. One way to face death is as the enemy, which is the way ninety-nine per cent of people face it – and miss it. Because of their enmity they cannot use it, they cannot be profited by it, they cannot be served by death.

There is another way: to accept death as a friend, to accept it as an innermost part of your being, to enjoy it, to welcome it, to be ready for it and when it comes to embrace it. Suddenly the quality of death changes. It is no more death, it becomes a door. It no longer destroys you; on the contrary, you are served by it. It leads you to the deathless.

Die – you will have to die. But die gracefully. I am not saying die like a stoic, I am not saying die like a very controlled man. No, I'm saying die gracefully, beautifully, as if a friend is coming, knocks at your door, and you are happy. And you embrace the friend and invite him in, and you have been waiting for him so long....

If you can love death you become deathless; if you can understand non-being then your being becomes the very ground of being-hood, the very ground of God. If you can love non-being then nothing can destroy you, you have transcended time and space. Then you have become one with the total, and this is what holiness is – to become whole is to be holy.


OSHO

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

मौत.....

जिंदा थे तो किसी ने पास भी बिठाया नहीं,
अब खुद मेरे चारों और बैठे जा रहे हैं।
पहले कभी किसी ने मेरा हाल भी न पूछा,
अब सभी मेरी ही बातें किये जा रहे हैं।

सारी जिंदगी मेरे आंसू न पोंछ सका कोई,
अब सब मेरे लिए ही आंसूं बहाए जा रहे हें।
उम्र भर कोई शाभाशी तक न दे पाया मुझे,
अब सभी मेरी तारीफों के पुल बांधते जा रहे हैं।

जिन्दा रहते एक रुमाल भी भेंट न किया,
अब शालें और कपड़े ऊपर से डाले जा रहे हें।
भेदभावों के चलते जिसने हमसे किनारा कर लिया,
आज वो भी हाथ जोड़कर खड़े नज़र आ रहे हैं।

जिंदगी में एक कदम भी साथ न चल सका कोई,
अब फूलों से कन्धों पर उठा ले जा रहे हैं।
किसी ने एक वक़्त का खाना खिलाया नहीं कभी,
अब देसी घी मेरे मुंह में डाले जा रहे हैं।

सब को पता है की अब उनके काम का नहीं,
फिर भी बेचारे दुनियादारी निभाए जा रहे हैं।
अब पता चला है की जिंदगी से कितनी बेहतर है मौत,
हम तो बे-वजह ही जिंदगी की चाहत किये जा रहे हैं।

Friday, April 08, 2011

Freedom....


All I want is freedom
To live like a bird,
Want to fly high,
Where sky is the limit,
Free from any cage...

All I want is freedom,
Free from this hypocritical world,
Free from emotional sufferings,
Free from moral burdens,
Free from all boundaries...

All I want is freedom,
To be an animal,
Free from any restraints,
Free from any interference,
Free from any shackles....

All I want is freedom,
To live my life in my own way,
Free from all traps,
Free from this reality,
Free from these structures...

All I want is Freedom,
Freedom to fuck,
Freedom to think,
Freedom to learn...
Freedom to be ME...

All i want is freedom,
Freedom freedom freedom
Is it too much to ask?

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

कभी सोचता हूँ...



कभी सोचता हूँ,
क्या है ये जिंदगी,
जब भी जीना चाहो,
मौत का एहसास दिलाती है,
उजाले की किरण देखना चाहो,
अँधेरे के इलावा कुछ नज़र नहीं आता,
खुल कर सांस लेना चाहो,
पर हर तरफ घुटन ही घुटन है,
क्या करूँ कहाँ जाऊं,
मेरा दम घुटता है यहाँ,
क्या ऐसी ही होती है यह जिंदगी...

कभी सोचता हूँ,
क्या होते हैं ये आंसू,
कोई कहता है,
यह दर्द हल्का करते हैं,
पर जब भी मैं चाहता हूँ,
की यह बाहर निकले,
और मेरे दर्द को हल्का करें,
तो वो बाहर नहीं आते,
हमेशा आना-कानी करते हैं,
शायद यह भी जिंदगी की तरह ही हैं,
जो हमेशा मुझसे बेवफाई करते हैं....

कभी सोचता हूँ,
क्या है यह मौत,
जिस से सब लोग डरते हैं,
जिंदगी का अंत,
या फिर एक नयी जिंदगी की शुरुआत,
कभी दिल करता है,
की मौत को गले लगा लूँ,
कोशिश भी करता हूँ,
पर शायद अभी समय नहीं है,
इस कमबख्त मौत के आने का...

कभी सोचता हूँ,
दुनिया की नज़रों में,
मैं हमेशा मुस्कुराता हूँ,
हमेशा खुश रहता हूँ,
और वो मुर्ख सोचते हैं,
मुझे कोई ग़म नहीं,
अन्दर से घुट घुट कर जी रहा हूँ,
शायद यह कोई मरने से कम नहीं...

कभी सोचता हूँ,
शायद सब कुछ मिला है मुझे,
पर फिर भी किसी की तलाश में हूँ,
नाराज़ नहीं हूँ खुदा की इस जिंदगी से,
शायद मैं अपने आप में नहीं हूँ,
तड़प रहा हूँ बुरी तरह से,
जिंदगी की इस आग में,
सिर्फ एक उम्मीद पर,
कभी न कभी तो,
बुझ ही जाएगी...

कभी सोचता हूँ,
अब तो आदत सी हो गई हे,
तन्हाई के साथ रहने की,
शायद अब फर्क नहीं पड़ता,
अब तो जिंदगी से भी,
समझोता कर रहा हूँ,
अन्दर घुट घुट कर जी रहा हूँ,
और बाहर मुस्कुराने की,
कोशिश कर रहा हूँ......


Thursday, March 24, 2011

I am not an 'ATHEIST'......



It was a very boring day yesterday. I was very sad. There was nothing new for so many days. I am sick of such prosaic and mundane activities of daily life. I always want something new. I wanted to do something but couldn’t find out what to do. So I finally decided to read out all my recent articles posted on my blog. So I started with the very first and ended up reading the last one in half an hour. After reading all my recent articles, two words slipped out from my mouth which I didn’t intend to say- Thanks God. I asked myself why did I say that? Did I really intend to say this? No. It was such a moment of pleasure, a moment of sheer happiness inside me, a moment of self-realization, a moment when you really want to share your happiness with someone very close. It was a moment when you want to give yourself completely to God. It was a moment when you realize that you are in the process of proving yourself to you only. It was a moment when you really want to thank God from the core of your heart. It was such a beautiful moment that I can’t even explain in words. I could feel the energy restoring inside my body. I could see a big smile on my face. I could talk to God without even speaking a single word from my mouth.
But why did it happen? Does God have something to do with this? As I have always been quite skeptical about this very entity called God. Sometimes I feel that I am an agnostic personality. I always find myself looking answers for a question what is God? How can we worship God? How can we talk to God? Is it necessary to go to temples to worship God? Or is it really necessary to worship God? I never find myself comfortable in temples. Temples seems to me like nothing less than a political institution where every person is busy doing politics about other, always concerned about other person’s life, busy in planning how to pull someone’s leg, discussing their family problems in temples. It is an institution where corruption is legal. Nobody is concerned about where they have come and for what purpose. Nobody is concerned about God. Moreover, many a times I get an opportunity in temples to ogle the opposite sex. There comes the question of morality. Is it immoral or not? So for many reasons, I don’t feel like going to temples. Does it mean that I am an immoral person? Does it mean that I don’t believe in God? Does it mean that I am an 'atheist'? Does it mean that I will always do the wrong thing? Does it mean that I am not allowed to be a nice person? Does it mean that my belief in God would invalidate any good intentions which I have towards my fellow human beings? Well, if ask from the society, the answer would be ‘Yes’. But why is it so? Can it be such logical that on the basis of some false myths, a person is declared an ‘Atheist’? It is just bullshit, a height of nonsense.
I think God is always around you. God is always inside you. You don’t have to search for God because God is always within you. You don’t need to go anywhere in search of God. You just need to feel God inside you. It’s all about perception.
Today we are living in such a suffocating world where we are not having even a religious freedom. Where we have to accept God in the way what so called religious people have made for us. We are living in a society where our religious people have made an assumption that moral and ethical choices are religious ventures only. A person who fears from God is moral and who does not, is immoral and non-ethical person. Is God really such an entity from whom we should fear? I never feared from God. I am not afraid of God. But our society would never be able to let this fear evaporate from their minds. Well, that is their problem.
But why the hell society is concerned about any other individual and keeps on forcing him to accept their said rules? Why he is being seen as a culprit in the eyes of the world? Why they are not able to understand that if he is not useful to you for his own beliefs even he is not harmful to you for that? I really don’t know when our societies would be able to liberate their minds. Some says that God helps those who help themselves. I am helping myself in my own way. I am doing what my heart tells me to do. I am trying to be loyal to myself. How can you be loyal to God if you are not loyal to yourself? Be loyal to yourself first and only then try to be loyal to God. I have no intention of expecting the entire world to have the same beliefs I do. If they do, it is not my problem. If not, I am perfectly fine with it. Sometimes I feel that which is considered ‘immoral’ in our society is ‘moral’ for me. And in most of the cases I find it relevant too. How can it be this much logical? Sometimes I think I am an alien to the world and they are aliens to me. We are just living under the same sky but completely aliens towards each other in the world of thoughts. But the fact is this-Not all ''religious people are saints and not all ''atheists'' are sinners. The ability for someone to be good or evil, moral or immoral is not determined by their religious preferences rather it is determined by their personal philosophies which may come from sources other than religion. I have just tried to convey my message to this hypocritical world that I am not an ‘Atheist’.
I am not an ‘Atheist’; just my way of paying devotion to the God is different.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Fear of Death....


Fear of Death.................?
It has been almost a fortnight since a question is haunting me continuously. It keeps me awake at night. It does not allow me to rest. It sucks me in to keep on thinking about it. Some days back, my best friend called me up at night. He was unhappy. He wanted to talk with me. He was feeling very lonely. He was very frustrated. He was disturbed by his failure at every stage of life. He was struggling with the hard realities of life. So I was trying to cheer him up. Like don’t worry brother everything will be alright very soon. I was giving sympathy to him. And during my effort trying to make him happy, I said to him- Live your life as it is the last day of your life. Suddenly a question got struck in my mind which I couldn't ask him but me. Question was what if it is really the last day of my life? What if I come to know that someday would be the doomsday of my life? What if I come to know that this life which I am living would be over very soon? What if I come to know that I have a very short time, a very limited time to do whatever I want to do? What would happen at that time? What would I be doing at that time? It’s like when a doctor says to you that you have very short time left. Or in doctor’s code, he is actually saying to you- Prepare to die. How would I be preparing myself to die? Sometimes it scares me. It doesn’t let me concentrate on other pieces of work. It haunts like a ghost to me. It is persistent, unrelenting, continuously recurring in my mind. It is maybe because I don’t want to die. No one wants to die. Of course, you don’t want to die even you are not happy with your life. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. But some questions regarding the actions of that very day keeps me haunting. I asked myself, would I be given a chance to rape before I die considering my last wish? Would I be given a chance to kill a man who had once screwed up my life? Would I be given a chance to do all such things which are considered ‘immoral’ in our society? Would I be given a chance to spend my entire father’s money on my last wishes? Would I or would I not? I really don’t know. It is purely an intellectual concept. And I am speechless. But I think that probability of getting these opportunities on the way to death is high than demanding these living your life. Does that mean death can give you what you couldn’t get in your life? Or even a fear of death? Does that mean fear of death is more beautiful than life? Maybe yes. Fear of death helps you in eliminating the most of the choices in your life leaving you in front of only the most important things of your life. Fear of death gives you courage and intuition to listen to the voice of your heart and you really start listening to it. Because it already somehow know what you truly want to become, what you want to do, and what you have to do before you die. Earlier I used to have grudges for some people in my life. But today I don’t have any. I think life is too short for such bullshit things. Life is too short to enjoy, to learn, and to live. Live it to its fullest. It is very precious. Don’t spend it living someone else’s life. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions ground out into our own inner voice. Don’t be trapped by dogma which is living with the resolves of the other people’s thinking. It was the fear of death which could make me realise all such things. Death is a destination which we all share. Whether rich or poor people, good or bad people, black or white people, a king or a servant, death is common to all. No one has ever escaped it. It clears out the old to replace with the new. Earlier I thought it was very scary. But now I realise that it is not that much scary. Actually death comes to you in the face of reality. And realities are sometimes hard to face....

Thursday, March 17, 2011

UDAAN.....


UDAAN tells the story of thousands of youths from India’s middle class families. It is undoubtedly a significant film about the youth, so often disparaged for the eager, an ungratified pursuit of their dreams and imaginations. It is a story about the youth who does not want to act like robots, does not want to be programmed like robots. Who just want to listen to the voice of their heart and want to do whatever their heart tells them to. It is such an emotionally charged film that sometimes moves you to tears. It is a very simple, straight-forward film that doesn’t need to be explained. It is a movie which needs to be rather experienced. Touching, unnerving and disturbing movie. The simplicity of the movie is what makes the movie wonderful. It is a story which is not too uncommon in India but the way it has been shown is what brings the freshness in the film. It is a story of anguish and escaping away to fly the kite of one’s dreams.
The film begins with the four impish teenagers who has just been rusticated from their boarding school after they were caught watching an adult film (Kanti Shah ke Angoor) by their dean. The story follows the life of one of the boys Rohan ( Rajat Barmecha), who has not been to home in eight years. After being expelled, he has to go back to the steel town of Jamshedpur and live with his father ( Ronit Roy), owner of a small steel factory. As he reaches home, he comes to know the existence of his step-brother Arjun ( Aayan Boradia). On his return home, Rohan is forced to work in his father’s steel factory against his wishes. And the authoritarian, oppressive and tyrant his father is, he can’t even question him. As he is stuck there with his dream of becoming a writer seemingly getting shattered, he learns to cope up with life. Soon he discovers that his brother is also a victim of his father’s wrath. He starts to love his step brother, manages to write between work and college, sneaks out for a drink or two at night but inspite of all this, he is getting suffocated badly. He wants to escape. He wants to live like a free bird. He wants to fly. He wants to fulfill his dream. He doesn’t want to live his life at the cost of his dream...
The fourth main character in the movie is Jimmy (Ram kapoor), a kind and caring uncle to the kids, a dramatic dissimilarity from his elder brother. His soothing characterisation eases the pressure on both of the kids. The film is high on emotional quotient. Many scenes stay with you long even after you are done watching the movie. There is nothing ‘bollywood’ about this film, it’s as if this movie was shot with a handy cam capturing the lives of a real family. Every scene of the movie relates to our lives somewhere in some way or the other.
Ronit Roy, as a single father has done his job with the perfection. He insists the two sons call him ‘sir’. He doesn’t like arguments, and after his daily evening drink, cannot control his anger. Beating the children is commonplace and emotional abuse is constant. He is completely frustrated and his children are the only victims of his frustration. Barmecha has done an impeccable job in portraying a kid who has lived his life in one of the best boarding schools and now stuck in a small town. He sneaks out at night for drinks and smoke, and still manages to jog with his father in the morning. His poems are really beautiful, so you just want to listen to them again and again. His step-brother is raw talent and displays a wide emotional range with panache. He is very adorable, very real and so cute you just fall in love with him. He is somewhat aware of what is going on but obviously at his age, he just can’t do anything at all. He oozes cuteness and sympathy every time he is on screen.
The music of the film is simply amazing. Songs are such meaningful, simple and touching that suits the mood. I couldn’t help but notice how aptly soundtracks fit the mood of the film at various points.
As the film moves towards it denouement, you desperately hope that Rohan breaks the shackles and frees himself from such a suffocating world... I still remember the scene when his father is chasing him after getting poked, some words came out from my mouth unintentionally- Run Rohan, run.......I just wished that his father could never catch him up..I think this is quite obvious after watching such type of movie. This is the movie that will send chills down your spine. It is such an inspirational movie which will help you to ‘fly out of a cage’ if you are in one. It is just filled with unforgettable moments. It won’t be easy for me to forget this movie soon....I am mad at it....I am highly satisfied by the movie....I just hoped that the film could never come to an end....I am still lost in the movie....I can’t stop myself thinking about it and listening to the songs...A must watch for all.....Hats off to Anurag Kashyap and Vikram Motwane.....
My favourite song.....awesome lyrics....every word, every sentence....flawless...
पैरों की बेड़ियाँ ख्वाबों को बांधे नहीं रे, कभी नहीं रे
मिटटी की परतों को नन्हे से अंकुर भी चीरे, धीरे धीरे
इरादे हरे हरे, जिनके सीनों में घर करे
वो दिल की सुने करे ना डरे, ना डरे
सुबह की किरणों को रोकें जो सलाखें है कहाँ
जो ख्यालों पे पहरे डाले वो आँखें है कहाँ
पर खुलने की देरी है परिंदे उढ़ के झूमेंगे
आसमान आसमान आसमान
आजादीयाँ, आजादीयाँ
आगे न कभी , मिले मिले मिले
आजादीयाँ आजादीयाँ
जो छीने वही, जी ले जी ले जी ले

Monday, March 14, 2011

Beating Pain.....


Oh pain! Oh pain! There's something you should know,
Halt now, surrender, and listen to what I say,
Every time you hurt, I only thrive and grow,
Oh pain, you'll see, you will not have your way.
Oh pain you knock so loudly on my door,
Armed with grief and loaded with tons of sorrow,
Oh pain I'll win, I'm ready for this war,
I won't give up I'll see a better tomorrow.
I know your goal is to destroy but wait,
If more pain then courage and hope does soar,
My spirit rises a song I do create,
I told you I will surely win this war.
Do you see what I mean now Mr. Pain?
If not for you my life would be in vain.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

ME...............?



Me...........?
Although it has always been one of the most difficult questions for me but still I am trying to resolve it. I am still trying to find out what is ME? Who am I? A morally good son of my father. What else? What am I doing? I am doing business or in other words I am helping my father in his business. What else? Am I doing something good for myself?...............................Blank. Am I doing something for my future?.......................not sure... What is my identity?....................................Blank. Do I have some my own identity out of my father’s identity? ...............Not yet....Have I even tried to build my own identity?.................May be No....Am I happy?.............Well totally out of the question. Then why the hell I am doing something if I am not happy doing that? What do I really want to do? What do I really want to be? What is my basic instinct? Do I even have one? What I am today is really what I always wanted to be? Am I on the right track? I really don’t know. At one time, it seems to me that I am near perfect...but at the other time, it feels like I am nothing. I hate myself for this when I am always confused, flummoxed, bewildered....I hate myself when I always find myself in front of more than one option and unable to choose... I hate myself for my reluctant behaviour. I think that the toughest phase of your life is when you start struggling with yourself.....when you start questioning yourself.....when you really don’t want to prove yourself to the world but you......
Technology, machinery, computers, innovative thinking attracts me a lot....Precisely “how things are made” this very concept of thinking appeals me a lot...Now I think I should have become an engineer instead of businessman..Now is obviously not the time...I used to think earlier that to be a businessman was my basic instinct until today...but I was wrong, though I want to be...but the question is how can I know about my basic instincts? Do they keep on changing from time to time? During my struggle with myself to find out my basic instinct, what I could find out what was really not? I thought it was as easy as to find a girl not suitable for you than to find a girl who is perfect for you. Earlier I thought that was blogging, writing, reading etc...I never found myself interested in blogging or writing....I could never make up my mind set....I thought my mental level was never up to that mark....I never found myself suitable to write, read or blog.....although I tried but couldn’t pursue for long... Again I was wrong....Because these days I am enjoying like anything in blogging, reading and writing.....I can’t even explain how much refreshed I am feeling these days.....I mean I don’t have words to express my joy....But I found myself again confused.....Fuck man.....Oh Jesus, I don’t know what is really happening to me....Am I not wasting the golden period of my life....? My professor used to say to me that you can make your present as well as future only between 20 to 30 years of age...this very period makes the base for your future...And I am still wondering if I am going the right way.... I am feeling like shit...it frustrates me a lot...I want to cry....I want to get the hell out of these structures....I want to live like a free bird...I want to enjoy....I want to explore.....I want to be a clearheaded guy....
Someone very important in my life once said to me that everything happens late in my life....and that is true.....Now considering my present situation, if I want to fuck now then I can say that I’d be surely fucking a girl two months later or maybe six months later.....though everything happens late but it surely happens....What is my life...? Is it something more than a fucking procrastination machine....? Well, it can’t be just like that.....I still have to do something for my life.....
But there is one thing I could find out during my struggle with myself is what I always wanted to be? And now I can say that I always wanted to be a LEARNER....Yes, a learner at every stage of my life....And that’s what I am A NOVICE.....
Tears shed from my eyes a lot during writing this article......I don’t know why.....It’s may be because this is the first time I am not confused about myself.....If not exact, still a very clear picture of ME....

Pre-marital Sex Vs Indian Culture


Pre-marital sex is a big NO-NO in our culture for various reasons. It is not only considered as a taboo in our society rather considered as a sin. Not only is the act of sex, but also discussions and conversations about sex are taboo in our society. Our society is unable to understand that sex is a very strong biological need. However sex after marriage has a purpose of not only evolution but also a medium of expressing love between couples. If sex becomes a mere need of the body then it becomes monotonous and cannot be enjoyed in true sense. This is also the reason why many marriages are failing nowadays. Because the concept of sex is not very clear. We always think of sex in negative sense. While prohibiting sex until one is married has its own merits, one must also consider the fact that in recent times the age in which the men and women are tying the nuptial knots has been slowly on the rise. Early 30s is a common age until which men and women remain un-married due to prevalent socio-economic situation. And these days most of the children become sexually active before 19 years of age. So there is a huge gap. Sex is something important to our body and by refraining it till marriage is a blunder. This is the reason many people treat marriages nothing more than a license to enjoy sex. It is like if you are hungry, you eat garbage or you wait for the right food. When it is misunderstood, one tends to resort to junk food as well.

The bottom line is when two young people are together and hormones are bubbling, it is very difficult to stay in control. Sex is something basic like food. Binding it by tradition makes you yearn for it and spend half your time thinking about it and the focus on other things just remains blur. I feel it is high time to move out of cultural boundaries we have set for ourselves. I think cultural boundaries are apparent in the form of our mental conditioning and have become part of our belief system. I believe culture and tradition are ever changing. We can learn a great deal from what has been practiced in the past and retain those that have worked well for us but there is also a need to weed out the ones that are not relevant anymore. It is also the duty of the parents to talk freely on the subject with their kids and enlighten them. Sex should be freely discussed also in schools, colleges etc. I think the education curriculum in schools and colleges can also play a important role in providing awareness and discussion of associated issues. Studies have shown that when sex is openly discussed, the incidence of teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases goes down provided it is seriously discussed without emotional melodrama. So the least we can do for our youth is that if a girl and a boy wants to enjoy sex, cultural boundaries, physical control should not be a restriction for them. Someone has rightly said- Go with the flow of universe.

Some questions.......................?

  1. Can we learn to understand our opposite sex at a deeper level without sex?
  2. Doesn't sex kickoff our spiritual thinking?
  3. Don't know about others but many a times i get an opportunity in temples to ogle the opposite sex? Is it some sort of deficiency? Is it immoral?
  4. Why do we have to live two lives? One for the society (The Parents etc.) to show them that we are virtuous people. On the other hand, in the real life we are driven by the need and desire of sex.
  5. Do emotional attachment dissipates after sex or it becomes even more stronger?

Sunday, March 06, 2011

Some Questions..........................?

There are some questions which i feel answered and still unanswered at the same time. I wanted to discuss it so shared on my blog.
  1. Why Sex is a taboo in our religion or in our society? Some say it is a gift from GOD then how can we exercise sex in a sacred way?
  2. What exactly is the difference between morality and immorality? Isn't it our prerogative to choose between the two?
  3. Expectations are illusions or not?
  4. Is there always a luck factor in everything? Is it always? If no, then when it is not?
  5. How can one know about his inherent aptitudes? Maybe everybody knows but how can one be damn sure about it? Do they keep on changing?

Control computer by sight technology


A laptop prototype has been unveiled with a device that allows a user to control the computer by sight.

The eye-tracking technology monitors the user’s gaze and works out where they’re looking on the computer screen and means, among other things, that users can play a game where they defeat enemies because the game’s lasers hit where they look.

It can also scroll text on the screen in response to eye movements, sensing when the reader has reached the end of the visible text.

In the future, such a laptop could make the mouse cursor appear where the user is looking, or make a game character maintain eye contact, according to Tobii Technology Inc, the Swedish firm behind the tracking technology, the Daily Mail reports.

Now planned for commercial use, the eye-tracker works by shining two invisible infrared lights at the user.

Two hidden cameras then look for the glints from eyeballs and reflections from each retina. It needs to be calibrated for each person, and works for those with or without glasses.

Barbara Barclay, general manager of Tobii’s analysis solutions business, said rather than a replacement for the traditional mouse and keyboard or the touch screen, the eye-tracking could be complementary, making a computer faster and more efficient to use.

Tobii has been making eye-tracking devices for researchers and the disabled for nearly a decade. The laptop is its way of showing that eye-tracking could expand beyond those uses, Barclay said

The laptop is made by Lenovo Corp, and incorporates Tobii’s eye-tracking cameras in a hump on the cover, making the entire package about twice as thick as a normal laptop.

Friday, March 04, 2011

Which Religion Should You Follow?


Hemant Mehta wonderfully creates a flowchart to determine which Religion should one follow! While I wish there didnt exist a need for religion to exist alltogether, the flowchart is nonetheless quite a nice attempt.



Thursday, March 03, 2011

India may surpass China’s growth rate in 3-4 yrs: Basu


Buoyed by country’s robust growth prospects, Chief Economic Advisor Kaushik Basu today exuded confidence that India could clock a higher growth rate than China in the next three to four years.

“I think we (India and China) are very close in terms of growth rate now. Within the next 3—4 years, for us to overtake the growth rate of China is possible,” Mr. Basu said at a CII post—Budget conference here.

India economy is estimated to grow 8.6 per cent in the current fiscal and up to 9.25 per cent in 2011—12.

In the last three months of 2010, the domestic economy expanded 8.2 per cent while China grew 9.8 per cent during the same period.

Earlier this year, the World Bank projected that Indian economy would overtake that of China - on purchasing power parity (PPP) basis - by 2012.

According to Mr. Basu, it might take time before India could overtake China in terms of per capita income, especially since the neighbouring nation’s per capita income is three times more than India.

In 1978, the per capita income of both countries were the same, he added.

World Bank in its report had projected Indian economy to grow by 8.7 per cent in 2012, faster than 8.4 per cent expected for China.

However, these projections were based on PPP basis, which means that purchasing power of currencies are taken into account for measuring economic growth.

Currently, the size of Indian economy is USD 1.3 trillion while that of China is worth USD 5.5 trillion. Few weeks back, China also emerged as the world’s second largest economy, toppling Japan.

Apple unveils iPad 2


The biggest surprise at Apple iPad 2 launch event was the fact that Steve Jobs was there to present it. Jobs walked out to a thunderous standing ovation and stated, “We’ve been working on this product for awhile, and I didn’t want to miss it.”

The $499 device is thinner than the iPhone 4, twice as fast as the last tablet, camera-equipped, and ships March 11 in the United States and March 25 in 26 more countries. The surprisingly fast roll-out highlights the fierce competition in the tablet market.

The iPad 2 is very much a video device. The resolution is the same, the price is the same and the battery life is the same. The new feature is a front and back facing camera which was not available on the original iPad.The biggest surprise at Apple iPad 2 launch event was the fact that Steve Jobs was there to present it. Jobs walked out to a thunderous standing ovation and stated, “We’ve been working on this product for awhile, and I didn’t want to miss it.”

The $499 device is thinner than the iPhone 4, twice as fast as the last tablet, camera-equipped, and ships March 11 in the United States and March 25 in 26 more countries. The surprisingly fast roll-out highlights the fierce competition in the tablet market.

The iPad 2 is very much a video device. The resolution is the same, the price is the same and the battery life is the same. The new feature is a front and back facing camera which was not available on the original iPad.Apple has used in-house designed dual-core 1GHz A5 System-on-Chip processor inside the second generation tablet. It's capable enough for multi-tasking, video recording, FaceTime video calls and loads Apps faster. The Graphics core boosts nine times better visual performance compared to the first generation iPad, TechTree reports.


The second generation iPad 2 will have 3G network support along with Wi-Fi (802.11 a/b/g/n) and Bluetooth 2.1+EDR. Apple has shelled out a new HDMI cable connector that promises 1080p HD video output when connected to the proprietary 30-pin dock connector port on the iPad 2.
Additionally, iMovie is now available on the iPad 2, and is specially designed to make it easy to edit videos on a tablet format. Facetime, which has been available since the launch of the iPhone 4, is now available on the iPad 2, too, and can perform videoconferencing between both iPhone and iPad 4 devices. Garageband for the new iPad will allow you to plug in instruments, add effects and record up to 8 tracks.

Apple also unveiled a new cover that snaps onto the device using built-in magnets on the iPad2. The cover rolls back and acts as a stand for watching video and to allow for easier tapping. The cover also has a microfiber surface on the inside that helps keep the iPad 2 surface cleaner.



The 81st Geneva Motor Show