Pre-marital Sex Vs Indian Culture

Pre-marital sex is a big NO-NO in our culture for various reasons. It is not only considered as a taboo in our society rather considered as a sin. Not only is the act of sex, but also discussions and conversations about sex are taboo in our society. Our society is unable to understand that sex is a very strong biological need. However sex after marriage has a purpose of not only evolution but also a medium of expressing love between couples. If sex becomes a mere need of the body then it becomes monotonous and cannot be enjoyed in true sense. This is also the reason why many marriages are failing nowadays. Because the concept of sex is not very clear. We always think of sex in negative sense. While prohibiting sex until one is married has its own merits, one must also consider the fact that in recent times the age in which the men and women are tying the nuptial knots has been slowly on the rise. Early 30s is a common age until which men and women remain un-married due to prevalent socio-economic situation. And these days most of the children become sexually active before 19 years of age. So there is a huge gap. Sex is something important to our body and by refraining it till marriage is a blunder. This is the reason many people treat marriages nothing more than a license to enjoy sex. It is like if you are hungry, you eat garbage or you wait for the right food. When it is misunderstood, one tends to resort to junk food as well.

The bottom line is when two young people are together and hormones are bubbling, it is very difficult to stay in control. Sex is something basic like food. Binding it by tradition makes you yearn for it and spend half your time thinking about it and the focus on other things just remains blur. I feel it is high time to move out of cultural boundaries we have set for ourselves. I think cultural boundaries are apparent in the form of our mental conditioning and have become part of our belief system. I believe culture and tradition are ever changing. We can learn a great deal from what has been practiced in the past and retain those that have worked well for us but there is also a need to weed out the ones that are not relevant anymore. It is also the duty of the parents to talk freely on the subject with their kids and enlighten them. Sex should be freely discussed also in schools, colleges etc. I think the education curriculum in schools and colleges can also play a important role in providing awareness and discussion of associated issues. Studies have shown that when sex is openly discussed, the incidence of teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases goes down provided it is seriously discussed without emotional melodrama. So the least we can do for our youth is that if a girl and a boy wants to enjoy sex, cultural boundaries, physical control should not be a restriction for them. Someone has rightly said- Go with the flow of universe.

Some questions.......................?

1. Can we learn to understand our opposite sex at a deeper level without sex?
2. Doesn't sex kickoff our spiritual thinking?
3. Don't know about others but many a times i get an opportunity in temples to ogle the opposite sex? Is it some sort of deficiency? Is it immoral?
4. Why do we have to live two lives? One for the society (The Parents etc.) to show them that we are virtuous people. On the other hand, in the real life we are driven by the need and desire of sex.
5. Do emotional attachment dissipates after sex or it becomes even more stronger?

Some Questions..........................?

There are some questions which i feel answered and still unanswered at the same time. I wanted to discuss it so shared on my blog.

1. Why Sex is a taboo in our religion or in our society? Some say it is a gift from GOD then how can we exercise sex in a sacred way?
2. What exactly is the difference between morality and immorality? Isn't it our prerogative to choose between the two?
3. Expectations are illusions or not?
4. Is there always a luck factor in everything? Is it always? If no, then when it is not?
5. How can one know about his inherent aptitudes? Maybe everybody knows but how can one be damn sure about it? Do they keep on changing?

Is today’s youth living under stress?

The answer to this question is seriously YES. Today’s youth is living under stress. Stress is the emotional and physical strain caused by our response to pressure from the outside world. Stress arises when people face a situation, which they think to be impossible to manage within their physical and emotional resources. Stress makes a person feel disgusted, angry, rejected, and depressed. What causes stress? Stressors are the causes of stress. These stressors may be physical or emotional. Events, situations, people are the various stressors. The most common stressors in the youth’s life are financial problems in the family, pressure of expectations from others, break-ups with boyfriend/girlfriend, career planning, failure in the examinations, inhibition etc. Finance is the main stressor in the youth’s life. Their income is not rising as fast as the rate of inflation which cause pressure on mind that how to deal with the day-to-day expenses i.e. mobile bills, electricity bills, home expenses. We always expect something from others e.g. from our parents and friends. But when our expectation does not fulfill, we get disheartened. In today’ life everybody wants his/her partner. Everybody desires of having a girlfriend/boyfriend. But the problem is such we are not as much mature in this age that we can establish a good relationship with him/her. As a result, misunderstandings occur that lead to the break-ups. As we all know that today’s youth are career-oriented. They always worry about their career planning. As everyone wants to live a relaxed and smooth life so they have to strive much to secure their future. Another serious phenomenon for youth is ‘teenagers suicide’. Due to the depression on mind regarding the preparation of exams, they couldn't prepare as much as they should be. As a result, some failed in the examination that put such a stress on their mind that they commit suicide. Instead of facing with life’s challenges, they want everything to be granted.
Inhibition is also a main cause of stress for youth. They always worry about what the other person is going to think about them. Youth mind’s tendency is to cling more to the negative than to the positive. They need to take responsibility for themselves and ensure that their minds are clear, and not clogged. They always excuse or complain of concentration. When? Do we require concentration when we love the subject? We require concentration only for which we don’t like to do. So just love everything and do seriously which you do. Youth need to realize that they have huge potential and strength to achieve what they want. The true measure of success is a happy, healthy, well-adjusted child that is able to deal effectively with life’s challenges.
There is another school of thought for stress. The question is ‘Why stress should not be’? Some say that stress should be in everyone’s life. If stress is not there, he/she will be satisfied or he/she will not strive which is wrong. A person should keep his efforts going on. Stress makes a person aggressive, work hard to lead always. It’s not the job of an individual rather it’s a job of a society. It depends upon them to classify stress into positive and negative stress. And it varies from person to person that he/she accepts positive stress and eliminate negative stress and vice-versa.